The Spock Hypothesis
by Bari Sax Player
Summary: Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper has always said he has no use for human contact. But how does he know?


Dr. Sheldon Cooper couldn't sleep. He hated it when he couldn't sleep. Growling with frustration he stared up at the ceiling of his darkened bedroom. His carefully planned evening of Tai food and Halo 3 had been destroyed. Leonard, Wolowitz and Koothrapali had spent the evening teasing him about coitus. Wolowitz saying he would only reproduce through mitosis and Leonard saying he didn't have genitals. Of course he had genitals. Fully functioning and aesthetically pleasing genitals. So what if he chose not to defile himself with baser human needs and emotions. He was above all that, a higher lifeform if you will, a modern day Mr. Spock. His mind and body functioning only for science and logic.

"But even Spock got laid." Leonard had teased.

"That's right." Wolowitz was quick to agree. "Leila Kalomi on Omicron Ceti III and Zarabeth on Sarpeidon. Even in Amok Time and The Naked Time he responds to Nurse Chapel's advances, saying he wishes things could be different."

'Imbeciles.' Sheldon thought. He'd had to explain to them that in each of the four mentioned episodes, some extenuating circumstances had been in existence causing a disruption in the Vulcan's normal control. The spores on Omicron Ceti III and the Pon Farr during Amok Time.

"So drink a bottle of Rum, dude and get your freak on." Koothrapali had laughed.

'Cretins.' He thought again. 'As if they could understand the deeper workings of a complex scientist like Mr. Spock.' A soft nose from the living room caught his attention. Sitting up in bed, he listened carefully. He could clearly hear soft voices, laughs and moaning coming from the living room. 'As if this night wasn't bad enough.' Sheldon thought, tossing off his covers and slipping his feet into his slippers. 'This is a blatant violation of the roommate agreement.' Paragraph 7, subsection B of the visitor section, clearly states that sexual activity of any kind, up to and including coitus, is forbidden in any of the common rooms of the apartment. Both Leonard and Priya can be expecting a strike.' He fumed as he pulled on his robe and opened his bedroom door.

Moving quietly down the short hall to the living room, he saw that the room was glowing with the light of what looked like a hundred candles.

'Well that's just a fire hazard.' He thought to himself, wondering momentarily if he should return to his bedroom for his fire extinguisher.

"You're so beautiful Penny." A rich baritone voice reached his ears.

'That's not Leonard's voice and why is Penny here?'

"Oh yes." The man spoke again, his voice low and erotic.

'I know that voice.' Sheldon thought incredulously. 'But it's not possible.'

"Mr. Spock? Penny?" He gasped, his eyes wide with shock and disbelief as he watched the blue shirted, pointed eared First Officer of the Starship Enterprise feast upon the breasts of his very naked neighbor. 'In my living room. Oh my couch. In my spot!'

"Hello Sheldon." The Chief Science Officer said calmly, his long fingers pulling, twisting, teasing Penny's hard nipples. "Would you care to join us?"

"What? No?" Sheldon's voice rose girlishly high as he shook his head, trying to shake away the imagine in front of him.

"Mmmmm." The Vulcan groaned, capturing Penny's lips in a passionate kiss. "Suit yourself." He groaned, raising his arms as Penny pushed his blue uniform shirt and black undershirt over his head.

"But what are you doing? You are a Vulcan. You don't engage in coitus!" Sheldon balled his hands into fist as he watched the abomination unfolding before him. Spock's hands caressed the swell of Penny's ass as she nuzzled and kissed along his neck. "What is going on here?" He yelled. "This is insanity. Black has become white. Cats and dogs living together. It's anarchy and her tattoo STILL says soup."

"Sheldon." Spock said, his voice both patient and breathy, as Penny kissed her way down his chest, her hands running across his broad thighs. "When I am hungry, I eat. When I am thirsty, I drink and when I am tired, I sleep. It is illogical to ignore the needs of your body."

"But, but, but you are beyond the need for coitus." Sheldon stuttered. "You are a man of science, of logic. You are a higher lifeform. It is only during the Pon Farr...

"The Pon Farr is the time of burning, but it is not the only time the body craves sexual release. Oh yes." He moaned, spreading his legs as Penny dropped to her knees, her hands rubbing across the bulge in black uniform pants. "Rather then suppress my normal biological needs, I chose to avail myself of the most beautiful creation in the universe. Woman. Oh Penny, yes." He hissed, lifting his hips as she worked his pants over his hips and down his long legs.

"But you are a Vulcan." Sheldon whispered, unable to look away as Penny's lips and tongue teased across his strong legs and the base of his erection. "Coitus is not necessary."

"I am half human as well." His eyes closed and his head fell back against the couch as Penny took him into her mouth. "And both my human half and my Vulcan half have a biological need for sexual release. To deny this fact is not logical. To deny your own need for sexual release is not logical." Spock turned his head and stared pointedly at the tented front of Sheldon's pajama pants. He turned his attention back to Penny, his long fingers burying into her blonde hair as her mouth worked up and down his erection. "You are a scientist Dr. Cooper." The Vulcan groaned. "You have formulated an opinion about sex, with no basis for your hypothesis. You have gathered no data, you have conducted no experiments, you have no basis for your opinion.

"Uhhhhhhhhhh." His hips rose off the couch as he erupted inside of Penny's mouth.

Sheldon's eyes flew open and he blinked in confusion, staring around the dark interior of his room. His penis pulsed and throbbed painfully inside his pajamas. Not stopping for his slippers or his robe, he jumped from his bed and rushed into the living room. It was quiet and empty. It had all been a dream. Struggling to calm his breathing, he stared at his spot on the couch, his penis aching painfully.

Knock, knock, knock. Penny?

Knock, knock, knock. Penny?

Knock, knock, knock. Penny?

Rolling from her bed, Penny stumbled towards the door. A quick glance at the clock told her it was well past midnight. Opening the door, she stared in shock at a wild eyed Sheldon, his feet bare, his hair mussed, his pajama pants straining across a...oh wow.

"Honey what's wrong?" She stepped back as he entered her apartment. Fear and concern making her heart beat frantically. She'd never seen him like this before. "Are you alright?"

"I had a dream." He said, pacing frantically back and forth across her tiny living room floor.

"A dream?" She was finding it hard to tear her eyes away from the obvious erection tenting his pants.

"You and Mr. Spock on the couch. In my spot. Engaging in...and he's right. I'm a scientist. I've formulated a hypothesis with no supporting data, empirical or otherwise. How could I be so stupid? I should conduct experiments. I should gather data."

"Sheldon!" She called out his name, stopping his pacing. "Honey, you're scaring me. I have no idea what you're talking about. You had a dream about me and Mr. Spock. What were we doing?"

"Engaging in coitus, well not coitus, fellatio. You were performing fellatio on him and he said that it's..."

"Wait." Penny interrupted. "He could talk while I was..."

"Yes, it was a dream."

"Obviously." She snorted.

"Please pay attention, Penny." He shook his head in annoyance and resumed his pacing. "He said it's illogical to deny your biological needs. And he's right. I eat when I'm hungry, I sleep when I'm tired. Why shouldn't I? It IS only logical. I say I don't need physical contact, that coitus is no big deal. But how do I know? I've formed a hypothesis without collecting any data. I mean I've masturbated. But I've always told myself that it's impossible that sex with another person could feel any different, any better then self stimulation. It is the same manipulation of the same nerves, with the same pleasure causing chemicals being released in the brain."

"Oh honey." Penny shook her head. "It is soooooo much better."

"And that's why I need to experiment." He stopped pacing and grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her to face him, his eyes excited. "We are friends aren't we Penny? We help each other? I helped you the day you dislocated your shoulder?"

"Uh huh." She said slowly, taking a step back from him. "What are you asking me Sheldon?" Her eyes flicked back down to the erection straining against his pajama pants.

"Help me experiment. It doesn't have to be coitus. I don't think I'm ready for coitus. But Penny," he looked at her, his eyes pleading and desperate. "Would you, could you perform fellatio on me?"

Penny stared at him, shocked. 'Was SHE dreaming? Did Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper just ask her to give him a blow job?' If it were anyone else she would be angry, pissed as hell, she'd probably hit him. But this was Sheldon and that made it...exciting and tempting and erotic as hell.

"But what about Amy?" She asked, biting gently on her lip.

"Amy is my friend." He said slowly. "I have never thought about her while I masturbate."

"And you've thought about me?"

"Yes." He said, staring deep into her eyes. "Please Penny. It's hurts. It's never been this hard." His hand reached down to rub his erection.

Seeing him touch himself sent a shiver through Penny's body. The idea of making Sheldon Cooper moan, making him come was too tempting to say 'No.'

"I can't give you a blow job until we've kissed." She whispered, taking a step towards him. "It's a rule I have."

"That would be acceptable." He nodded his head slowly.

Placing her hands on his shoulders, Penny stood on her toes and pressed her lips against his, moving slowly. Opening her mouth, she ran her tongue teasingly along his bottom lip. He moaned low in his throat when her tongue entered his mouth to dance lightly against his. He didn't think it was possible, but his cock seemed to grow even harder as their tongues rubbed together.

"Okay." She said, pulling back from him. "'Why don't you go sit on the couch."

Nodding, he lowered himself onto her couch. Leaning over, she kissed him again, her fingers playing with the buttons of his pajama shirt. Slowly she unfastened each button, revealing his bare chest. He groaned low in his throat as her hands played over the bare skin of his chest. Pushing his legs apart, Penny replaced her hands with her lips and kissed her way down his chest, her hands caressing his waist. "Lift up, sweetie." She whispered, grabbing the waistband of his pajamas. Working together, he was soon naked from the waist down, his cock rising eager and hard. Kneeling in front of him, Penny gently pushed his legs apart, her fingers playing gently with hairs on his legs. His head fell back and he groaned softly as she wrapped her hand around his balls, squeezing gently. "Well I would definitely call this 'fully functioning'" She said, running her hand up and down his shaft.

"And aesthetically pleasing." He added, his voice strained.

"Yes Dr. Cooper." She laughed, leaning forward and placing a tiny lick across the head of his erection. "You have a gorgeous cock."

"Oh good Lord!" Sheldon yelled out as Penny's mouth slowly descended, engulfing his penis. The sensation was overwhelming; hot, wet, her tongue lightly circling his sensitive head, sending pulsating jolts across his nerve endings.

"Sheldon honey." She whispered, running her tongue all the way up the underside of his cock, her fingernails lightly scratching the inside of his thighs. "You need to relax, breathe."

He realized then that every muscle in his body was rigid. Taking a gasping breath, he willed himself to relax. "I had no idea anything could feel like that." He gasped.

"I know honey. Just relax. I've got this. There's a reason I'm a big ole five."

Nodding his head, he struggled to control his breathing. She was stroking his shaft now, much like he did when he masturbated. The familiar feeling helped him regain control.

"Better?" She asked gently, her eyes gazing up at him from between his legs. He nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak. His eye lids fluttered and threatened to close as he watched his cock slowly disappear inside of her mouth. Again, the hot, wet feeling threatened to overwhelm him, already he could feel his climax forming in the pit of his stomach.

"Penny, Penny, Penny." He cried out frantically.

"Shhhhhhhhh." She hissed, blowing gently on his wet shaft. The feeling of his impending climax, dampened, but did not disappear. His hips thrust up uncontrollably as her tongue teased a spot on the underside of his cock, sending sharp waves of pleasure through his body. He hadn't even known such a spot existed on his body.

Sheldon's brain was in sensory overload as Penny ran her mouth and tongue over his erection, bringing him to the brink of orgasm, only to back away again. Sheldon's masturbation was perfunctory and clinical, a means to an end. When his cock became hard, he rubbed it until he climaxed. Never had he explored himself, playing and teasing as Penny was doing now, licking and nibbling on spots that made his mind numb with pleasure. He groaned as her tongue laved over him, running up his shaft and circling around the head. Again he felt the tension in his body building and building, his climax imminent.

"Penny, Penny, Penny." He gasped, crying out sharply, as she pressed against his perineum. 'Interesting.' The scientific portion of his mind analyzed, by applying pressure on or near the prostate gland, you efficient cut off the flow of fluid, thus disrupting ejaculation. "Oh sweet baby Jesus." He moaned as the sensations in his body slowly began to build again. He hadn't reached orgasm yet and already the pleasure receptors in his brain registered higher then any climax he had ever achieved on his own. He moaned as she slowly pulled back, sucking gently, before plunging back down again. His testicles throbbed painfully, feeling swollen and full.

"Penny my testicles are going to explode." He groaned, his Texas accent thick. "Please let me climax."

"Mmmm mmmm." She moaned with her mouth still around him, the vibration shooting up and down his spine making his toes curl. Again she sucked and licked, bringing him just to the edge of climax. As his muscles tensed in eager anticipation of the explosion, she wrapped her hand around his scrotum and squeezed, gently tugging his sack away from his body.

"Penny." He gasped. "My neuromuscular euphoria has reached it's pinnacle. The pulsations in my sphincter and penis are at maximum. Oh for the love of everything holy, please let me come." Moaning low in his throat, he buried his hands in her hair as she began to move her mouth rapidly up and down his shaft.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" He cried out as his back arched and his brain and body exploded with pleasure. Pinpoints of white light danced behind his eyelids as he pumped jet after jet of ejaculate into Penny's waiting mouth. He could feel his testicles and penis pulsating, sending waves of pleasure dancing over his nerve endings as dopamine and oxytocin flooded his brain. Forcing his eyes open, he watched in fascination as Penny swallowed frantically, drinking down his juices. Rather then feeling repulsed, as he always thought he'd be, he found himself thrilled by her actions. Panting, he collapsed heavily into the couch, savoring the lingering tingles of pleasure as they slowly faded away.

"Sheldon honey?" Penny whispered, lightly pressing her fingers to his leg. "Are you alright sweetie?"

"Mmmmm hmmmm." He moaned, a pleased smile curling up the corners of his lips. "That was incredible. Mr. Spock was right."

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed it." She said, climbing from her knees to sit next to him on the couch.

"I feel funny." He said, turning his head to the side to stare at her. "My arms and legs feel too heavy to lift."

"Well that's pretty normal." Penny laughed, loving the relaxed silly look on his handsome face and knowing that she had caused it.

"I should go." He drawled, his accent thick. "I need to record my findings while they're still fresh in my mind."

"That's right." Penny whispered, her voice suddenly small. "For the experiment. Did you prove your hypothesis?"

"Penny. A hypothesis cannot be proven or rejected based on one experiment. The scientific method requires the extensive gathering of data and varied experimentation." Bending over he grabbed his pajama pants and slowly pulled them up over his legs. "Additional research will have to be done before I can feel confident in reaching my conclusion." He turned his head and smiled shyly. "Would you be free for another experiment? Tomorrow night perhaps? After dinner?"

"Why Dr. Cooper are you asking me to be your research partner?"

"I am." Pulling the sides of his pajama top together, he focused his attention on the buttons. "Perhaps tomorrow night we could conduct an experiment surrounding the female orgasm."

Standing up, she held out her hand to him and gently pulled him to his feet. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. I just may learn to love this science stuff after all."


End file.
